Accona Matata!

If I remember the sentence correctly! It was from The Lion King cartoon!
which means: "No Worry, Be Happy!"

"When a door of happiness closes, another doors open for us, but we usually sit so tight looking at the closed door that we don't pay attention to the doors which have been opened for us..."

I am willing to notice the doors which open for me...
For the next 10 days I'm gonna experience lots of things, lots of people, lots of places, will make lots of good memories. I'm gonna bring the soil of two countries! This is what I've been doing since my first trip, bringing back the country's soil as a rememberance.

No More Sorrow

Yesterday was a busy day for me, so many things I had to do before my trip.

Me and Sally were supposed to see Mahsa and her daughter - Mahsa is the only friend of mine who has become a mom making me an aunt! MELINNA - but planned postponed so I stayed at Sally's.

Bad Luck! Mahsa lives in France and unfortunately she has come here to visit her family, we could've met there in my trip! She won't be back home till then.

Whenever Sally's husband goes to a trip we have GIRLS PARTY! and GIRLS OUT! Her husband is so cute, he always leaves us the best drinks in the world knowing what our plan would be! and asking me to LIVE at their house while he is gone! It's gonna be fun tonight.

See how life goes on? No more sorrow, when you get hurt all you need is to think and get the idea why this happened, then you'd get to the point that maybe it was for the best. Maybe it wasn't right like that. Maybe you would hurt much more than this if it was continued... everything is for a reason.

Usually when these kinds of relationships end, you start getting to know the other person much deeper. And the only way the sorrow goes away, is when you realize that the other person did not deserve any of that and you were wasting yourself, and you have much more to be proud of.

A Small World!

It was wonderful last night. As always when I have a plan something happens at work! I was supposed to see Mahnaz before meeting my classmate, unfortunately Iran Air had a line problem which made me staying longer resolving the matter. Finally I canceled my appointment with Mahnaz and still I was late for my blind date!

I was at their door, rang the bell, feeling strange, how does she look like now? What kind of a person she has become? I only had some memories from 20 years ago! I was so excited seeing her!

We finally met, she was the same only 20 years older and a bit thiner, she said the main thing she remembers from me is my eyes. We went to a coffe shop and talked and talked and talked, from the past, from our teachers, from our other classmates, there where things I remembered she didn't and things she remembered which I had forgotten! I was so drown in our talking which I have no idea how the time passed! She is leaving back to US soon, and I won't see her till God knows when! She had a nice character, I like her. We took pictures and gave each other a little gift as a rememberance. I am sure I will see Simin again someday, as it really is a small world...

It was a wonderful night :)

Blind Date!

The very big news is that we found the GUY who was teasing me for about 8 months!!! He was cought by my DETECTIVE PARENTS! and of course me!

He used to put flowers on my car, for 8 months! then flowers by our house door, then started calling home, calling mobile, only he called from public phone, sometimes using nasty words, then arranged dating!...I was so scared, it could be like one of stories we read in newspapers!

I saved his voice in my mobile, and TADA!! He was recognized by his voice!! A neighbour!! It was told to his family!!

NO MORE HIM! GOOD! NO MORE WORRIES!

The bad news is my bosom friend is going to Canada today :(
She called saying good bye to my parents and the way my dad was talking to her made me cry, she was kind of my sister, and of course still is.

Another exicting news, I have a blind date today!! not quite blind thought! it's one of my eldest friends! from primary school! We found each other in ORKUT and after 20 years we are gonna see each other! The strange part is that she doesn't live in Iran and by accident when we found each other she happened to be in Iran! I am sure we have so much to talk about! WOW! after 20 years!!

Forgive and Forget

She was late for their meeting, she had to go to the airport to get a delivery from an arrival.
Her dady called her, he seemed so anxcious hearing his daughter's speach.
She was a bit shy talking about her feelings, but later on she calm down and everything went well. She didn't even cry thanks to God! He was paying much attention, he seemed nervous he smoke two cigarettes. He heard them all, finally just said:
"You made a big mistake from the begining, but you made nice memories, 90% of men are like that, just forgive and forget."

He is going to be his daughter's pal from now on, he insisted she tells him every detail from now on. She is happy to have such an understanding dad. She loves him a lot.

Her second dad (he is her close friend and she calls him dad in their group) told her a nice sentence:
"When God says YES, he gives you what you want.
When he says NO, he gives you something better.
But! When he says wait, he wishes to give you the best!"

Dady and His Little Girl!

I used to say if you want something set it free...
But you have to do something before setting it free! You should try your best having it and do whatever it takes keeping it, then after all this if nothing changes, you gotta set it free. That's what this sentence exactly means.

When having any problem it's better discussing it with the elders for they have more experience to become a helper, specially the ones you have closer relationship with and you believe them as the open minded.
My dad has been the best advisor I have known in my life, all his students in University talk to him incase of needing any advise and they believe he is very wise. Why don't I? We have the greatest relationship a daughter and a father can have. I told my dad in the morning I'm gonna talk to him about a matter, I need to share with him something which has been teasing me since a while ago.
I feel happy about it, it's gonna be a great night between dady and her little girl who has become a lady now! I love my dad.

Lost

I used to hear life is cruel, living is tough.
I had no idea what it really means ,since I had no sorrow.

This year happened to be the worst year in my life, I lost my best friend from childhood, my cousin Shabnam, she happened to have cancer and life took her away from me. I am still in deep sorrow for losing her, and no one can replace her, no one.

And my other best friend is leaving for Canada, I am going to miss her very much, it's hard letting go someone after 17 years!
I am sure she also has her place in my heart forever, and I am sure she will be there for me and I will be here for her, always, as they say : "Friends are like stars, you do not always see them, but you know they are always there."

I also lost my other BEST FRIEND, and only God knows the real reason! And the sorrow of losing this person, for good or bad, will always remain. Best friends are never replacable.

Love and Devotion

What is the best way of forgetting something? not loosing and doing things you like, traveling? Ok I'll give it a try.

I feel powerful, crying helped me, it washed away all my anger and sorrow, it made me get wise. As my BEST FRIEND used to say, love is not enough in any relationship, being wise is the more powerful key. Sometimes we say things having no idea it might oneday be used for our own failure! I had no idea time can help this much on getting wiser and thinking better. We can see things better when we are out of love, when we look at it from the above.

Great, my parents are coming back today, I am so happy to have them back home. I really need them, being lonely is the last thing I need right now in this situation.


New Discovery
--------------------
I just found out that because of last year being the Leap Year, all solar dates has been shifted forward one day! Funny, till last year I was born in 19 Dec which is 28 Azar in solar dating, but they are not the same day anymore!!! 19 Dec is now 29 Azar!!!
When is my birthday from now on??? 18 Dec or 19 Dec???
What will happen to our passports then? the born dates are not correct anymore!!!! Finally I found something to laugh at!!! :)))
na na,na na,na,na!

Never

Never say I love you,If you don't really care;
Never talk of feelings,If they aren't really there;
Never hold my hand,If you mean to break my heart;
Never say forever,If you ever plan to part;
Never look into my eyes,If you are telling me a lie;
Never say hello,If you think you'll say goodbye;
Never say that I'm THE one,If you dream of more than me;
Never lock up my heart,If you don't have the key.

Decision Made

Nothing is worst than hearing things you are not, from the one you thought is the closest to you!
Maybe because of anger? Maybe because of jealousy? Or because of ...?

Today was a holiday, but I had to come to the office. Me and Vida spent more than 8 hours on the Internet searching on booking tickets and hotels in Europe, with no result! They won't send the tickets to Iran!! What a shame! Send it to the whole parts of the world except Iran!

Anyways, I am in a better shape today, I've made a big decision: RESPECTING MYSELF, letting nobody play with my heart.

An Expensive Experience

Sometimes things are so simple that you just don't notice them;
Sometimes you want something so bad that you just close your eyes on everything and even lie to yourself, you don't want to see the reality;
Sometimes you make fool of yoursefl;
Sometimes you give up yourself for nothing;
Sometimes you destroy yourself for something which does not deserve it;
The hard part is the day you realize all the above, that's when you feel broken, feel abused.
But everyone survies, even me, my life will go on.
Thanks to Vida for opening my eyes to the reality.

If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours; if it doesn't, it never ment to be yours.
I set it free. I am happy about it.

That's What Friends Are For

They say it's easy to get friends, the hard part is keeping them.
Thanks to my good friends Mahnaz, Hanieh, Sali and ofcourse Parizad (my brothers's wife) who tried these last two days making me not feeling lonely and sad.
Hanieh was so surprized she had never seen me crying after all these 8-9 years of friendship!!
Look what life can do to us?! Is it our blame? Do we deserve all the things happening to us? maybe...
I am not getting better! not at all!
I am not hoping to feel any better, I am just hoping for things to change and be the way they used to be, as WE planned, so that I can survive...
My parents are coming back from their long trip the day after tomorrow, I am not in a mood for their company, not now!
I can't pretend to be happy for them, and I don't want them to see me like this.
I am so broken...

First Day

My first day here, and I am so sad, maybe the main reason I decided to create this weblog, to share my sadness with you, you that I don't know, to reduce it...like shouting on the sea shore knowing the sea would hear, to heal me.
I know as life goes on things change, some sad days, some happy days.
I started it here with sadness, but my life goes on, and I will be happy tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow...I was a happy girl til two days ago! I will be again.